Rushing the Process Will Cost You
3 min
Have you come across the viral series, "Who TF Did I Marry?" on TikTok? Over the weekend, I watched the sensational 50-part, 8-hour-long series by TikTok user Reesa Teesa's recounting her experience with her pathological ex-husband, Legion, and the signs she missed. My initial thought was this was a cautionary tale of how easy it is to fall prey to the charms of a master deception. Days later, I have come to understand Reesa's story as a lesson on how rushing the process can cost you.
Ressa's storytelling prowess is undeniable, and like many others, I was captivated by her narrative. Here is the CliffsNotes version: Ressa and Legion met on Hinge in March 2020, and their relationship quickly intensified during the pandemic. They ended up quarantining together shortly after meeting, and a series of events, including a pregnancy and miscarriage, as well as multiple family deaths on Legion's side, kept Reesa locked into the relationship. By January 2021, they were married, and that's when things took a dark turn. Shortly after their wedding, Reesa discovered Legion's infidelity and his use of a fake social security number. This discovery led to even more revelations: Legion had an estranged relationship with all of his supposed close-knit family members, his job was fabricated, his financial records were forged, and he had an undisclosed ex-wife. When Reesa contacted the ex-wife, her advice was simple: "Run." And that's just the tip of the iceberg. The twists and turns in Reesa's story are enough to leave anyone shaken.
After finishing the saga, I prayed that desperation for marriage never catch me like this. For me, the key takeaway is the danger of rushing the process out of fear and desperation, leading to unfortunate circumstances. Reesa's fear of missing out on the American dream - marriage, kids, a dog, and the white picket fence - drove her excitement when she met Legion, ultimately blinding her to what she calls, the "United Nations of the red flags." My baba (dad) once cautioned me, "Remember not to be too excited. Accidents often happen when people are excited and not paying attention." Reesa's excitement clouded her judgment, leading her to ignore warning signs she should have noticed. Her admission of longing for marriage and children resonated with me, as I too find myself at a stage where rushing the process is a risk. Societal pressures often push us to rush into decisions, whether it's marriage, starting a family, or pursuing a particular career. The battle against fear and worry is a daily struggle, and when we operate from a place of fear, we may overlook important details and make regrettable choices.
In a previous newsletter piece, I reflected on my own struggles with impatience and the importance of embracing life's rhythm. Reesa's vulnerability in sharing her story is commendable. Her journey toward self-forgiveness and patience serves as an inspiration for us all. By sharing her tale, she encourages us to delve deeper into our daily encounters and to confront our fears and impatience. I invite you to reflect on moments of impatience in your own life and to embrace the discomfort, as it may lead to a newfound calm and patience in the face of life's uncertainties.
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